In recognition of Women’s History Month, Atwood Magazine has invited artists to contribute to a series of essays exploring themes of identity, music, culture, inclusion, and more.
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Today, dark pop artist Eva James from New England shares her essay titled ‘From Darkness to the Spotlight: How Chronic Illness Transformed My Music & My Life’ as part of Atwood Magazine’s Women’s History Month series!
Eva James is a captivating presence in the world of intimate dark pop, showcasing a voice that blends complexity and strength. Her music creates a profound harmony of haunting beauty and raw vulnerability, drawing audiences into a space where shadows unveil their own light. Eva's enchanting quality channels legendary figures like Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell, while also embodying the soulful grit of Bonnie Raitt and Grace Potter.
With lyrics that explore mental health, anxiety, and the maze of toxic relationships, Eva uses her songs as both confession and release. She turns personal suffering into universal truths, revealing unwavering strength through her vulnerability. Her music transcends just melodies; it represents a dark, introspective journey that encourages listeners to confront their own intricacies.
In 2023, Eva’s magnetic energy engaged audiences as she triumphed in the Gloucester 400th Anniversary Singer-Songwriter Challenge, marking her as an artist to watch. That same year, she ventured to New York to collaborate with Grammy-winning artist Paula Cole, beginning the recording of her debut album. Set to be released in 2025, Earth to Eva is expected to be a remarkable exploration of the human experience, intertwining themes of resilience and self-discovery within an evocative, intimate sound.
As Eva completes her debut album and continues her performances throughout New England, she symbolizes both intrigue and relatability – a modern sorceress of sound weaving spells through her music. Get ready to be captivated. Listen to “Something New” on your preferred music platform, and check out Mali Hâf’s Women’s History Month essay below!
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How Chronic Illness Transformed My Music & My Life
by Eva James
I do not believe in coincidences.
If I did, my life up until now would appear as a series of repeated occurrences.
I have been both blessed and cursed with an extraordinary clarity, shaped significantly by my awareness of my own mortality, which disrupted everything I thought I understood about life, aligning me with my true purpose: music. It was only when I became ill that I managed to overcome my self-doubt and insecurities long enough to pursue it.
In the autumn of 2023, the same year I began chasing my lifelong dream and recorded my debut album, my health deteriorated. I stood before the mirror in my apartment, bare. At 95 pounds, I was a shadow of my former self. I couldn't recognize the woman with vacant eyes reflecting back at me, her body weary and holding on to the last remnants of a life force that could easily vanish if given the chance. Although I was familiar with my chronic illness diagnoses, I was experiencing my worst state yet, and I believed that if left unchecked, I wouldn’t survive. It's a straightforward yet often ignored reality that we fail to appreciate our health until it’s lost. At my lowest, I found myself separated from music for the first time, lying in bed, praying to a higher power whose existence I doubted, promising to relinquish everything I held dear for the strength and health needed to pursue a music career.
In that moment, with nothing to lose and my dreams just out of grasp, I chose to fight with all my might. As I became more assertive with medical therapies, I recognized that changes in various aspects of my life were equally essential. I discovered a silver lining in the way chronic illness naturally eliminates things — and people — that were never meant to be part of my journey. Emerging from the grief, I found acceptance and appreciation for this initially alarming process, mastering the art of letting go — a skill I’m still honing.
When I began to lose my hair — a minor cost for life-saving medication — I finally found the courage to shave my head, which was more liberating than I expected. My priorities became clearer, and my appreciation for previously unappreciated aspects of life grew. With the fading echoes of a past life, my music and health became intertwined, forming the singular focus of my existence, each providing strength to the other. With each medical achievement, I grew more resolute in my purpose. Each song composed and gig performed amplified the healing energy of music within me, pulling me from darkness into the light of the future I was fighting to attain.
In the fall of 2024, I stepped onto the stage of a social club in Brookline.
Across the bar, a mirror reflected not a body struggling for survival, but one radiating resilience and strength, proudly displaying its battle scars, rewarded for its patience
New England dark pop artist Eva James presents her essay, ‘From Darkness to the Spotlight: How Chronic Illness Transformed My Music & My Life,’ as part of Atwood Magazine’s Women’s History Month series!
