Atwood Magazine is thrilled to present our Editor’s Picks column, curated and penned by Editor-in-Chief Mitch Mosk. Each week, Mitch will highlight a selection of songs, albums, and artists that have resonated with him. There’s an abundance of extraordinary music just waiting to be discovered, and all it requires from us is an open mind and a readiness to listen. Through our Editor’s Picks, we aim to illuminate our own musical finds and offer a varied selection of new and recent releases.
This week’s Editor’s Picks showcases total tommy, Park National, Zzz., Florentenes, mary in the junkyard, and DR DR!
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“Butterknife” by total tommy
In total tommy’s “Butterknife,” a line feels like a stabbing truth cloaked in softness: “Fighting with a butterknife / Putting me on trial for my self pity crime.” It’s gentle, almost tender – yet it carves deeply. This is the enchantment of total tommy. Seductive, ethereal, and theatrical, her latest release since 2024’s debut album bruises is an intimate storm: a gradual unraveling that builds from a whisper to a crescendo, featuring Holt’s captivating vocals merging into a mesmerizing swirl of guitars and intense emotional release.
Headless, left you on your own
Sorry for the seconds I’m not home
I wanna waste the time with you
Next week will be better
Know I said that back in June
You said my setback’s costing you a lifetime
Habits from a past life coming back around like
Circling a street light
Fighting with a butterknife
Putting me on trial for my self pity crime
“Butterknife” stands out as a follow-up to one of Atwood Magazine’s 2024 Albums of the Year, reinforcing total tommy’s talent for raw honesty—transforming pain and introspection into songs that resonate deeply. “Call me out, I’m selfish / Hanging off the edge of my own death wish,” she sings in the chorus, her voice breaking amidst grungy alt-rock undertones. It’s a reckoning with self, not a plea for pity. She doesn’t shy away from accountability—she simply lays bare the tumult within, showing how it impacts her meaningful relationships, delivered with a blaring, mesmerizing intensity.
Call me out I’m selfish
Hanging off the edge of my own death wish
Lock jaw, skin crawl, heavy chest
Just tryna catch my breath
When you’re calling me out
’cause I’m so selfish
“‘Butterknife’ was inspired by a moment I had where I paused after an argument with a friend and realized I was so wrapped up in my own issues that I had completely overlooked the significant struggles they were facing,” Holt shares with Atwood Magazine. “It really brought clarity and made me want to check in on my friends more.”
The butterknife metaphor resonates on multiple levels—a symbol of dull resistance, of fighting back without the tools to do so. Holt’s lyrics “Circling a street light / Fighting with a butterknife” evoke a cycle of avoidance and misguided attempts, of falling back into old patterns that only seem to skim the surface of deeper wounds. She’s not making excuses; she’s seeking to understand herself, even if that means confronting her own blind spots.
Can only drive on automatic
Make you shift the gears to land it
Burn out like your favorite candle
Always been too hot to handle
Sorry for the way I am
I didn’t mean to shut you down but
It’s been getting so damn loud
I’m craving what I’m drowning out
You said my setback’s costing you a lifetime
Habits from a past life coming back around like
Circling a street light
Fighting with a butterknife
Putting me on trial for my self pity crime
That self-awareness extends through lines such as “Sorry for the way I am / I didn’t mean to shut you down / But it’s been getting so damn loud / I’m craving what I’m drowning out”—a powerful admission of overstimulation and emotional retreat, where the yearning to connect is eclipsed by internal chaos. Holt’s vocal performance is striking, balancing precariously before exploding wide open.
“‘Butterknife’ marked a significant breakthrough for me in songwriting,” she reflects. “It’s about grappling with feelings of selfishness tied to pursuing an art form that can be quite ego-driven and understanding the toll it takes on relationships. Being a musician often feels akin to a ‘death wish,’ as it demands everything from you. I love what I do intensely, and it highlighted that once you start sharing music with others, you have a responsibility to do something constructive with it—not just contribute to the noise.”
This dichotomy—between noise and clarity, between ego and empathy—serves as the heartbeat of “Butterknife.”
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Selected by Mitch Mosk, this week's Editor's Picks includes tracks from total tommy, Park National, Zzz., Florentenes, mary in the junkyard, and DR DR!