Allie X: A Joyful Conclusion?

“A significant part of me desires to be accepted, yet I abandoned the effort to satisfy others with my songwriting long ago.” If ‘Girl With No Face’ represented feminine anger, then ‘Happiness…’ offers clarity following turmoil: self-liberation tinged with contempt and sorrow. “A woman free-falling through time, tears in her eyes,” she remarks. For instance, ‘Down Season’ evokes a depressive episode reminiscent of The Bell Jar or The Yellow Wallpaper. “Send the hanging man in / Clip the rose at the stem,” she commands, adding, “The nurse told me I won’t thrive without my medication.” She chuckles: “I’m not going to create an empowerment pop album.” However, this album emerged from balance; it’s a project of “joy” to be crafted. “There’s a violation in the beauty,” she sings over the eerie title track, “You’re alive / There’s no escape.” In contrast, there’s tranquility in her struggle with norms, in the union of excellence and hardship, in the conflict between femininity and freedom. She describes it as a full life. “I possess this resilience that prevents me from being knocked down. I have a strong sense of hope,” she claims. “Perhaps that’s delusional.” Hughes acknowledges “the fragility of life and the profound beauty of spending 60-100 years on Earth,” thus valuing the lessons the universe imparts. But don’t mistake her hope for submission: Marie resists the 21st Century. For example, the synth-opera ‘Uncle Lenny’ depicts “redundant, straight, old white men, gatekeeping every industry by performing the bare minimum, being perverse in a manner they evade consequences for, and hindering women, queer individuals, and people of color.” ‘Happiness…’ also highlights disconnection brought on by technology, Mother Nature's relentless suffering under capitalism, and the loss of spirituality. “I lived in a time without the internet,” she reminisces. “I communicated with my parents using pay phones. Now my phone feels like an extension of my body. It’s apocalyptic.” The lead single ‘Is Anybody Out There?’ expresses Hughes’ yearning for reason amidst modern monotony, where extreme heat and recalled teabags and condemnation from zealots demand numbness. Orchestral elements cut through its barren production, seeking answers to mysteries that may never be resolved, yet in her longing, she maintains faith.

Faith becomes crucial for progressing as both an artist and an entity within today’s dystopian reality: “I will bend to the light,” she sings in ‘It’s Just Light’, reflecting the burdens of fame but also the “immense beauty and enlightenment” it offers. In this sense, Hughes concludes that ‘Happiness…’ serves as a sort of “reset” for Allie X. It marks a return to the abstract and spiritual essence her name initially symbolized, along with a sense of lost naivety: “The X signifies how perplexed I am, and how openly I wish to live and engage with art, which can evolve, becoming another version of myself,” she shares joyfully, celebrating the Jungian liberation her name provides in a rigid environment. “I connect with the idea of the question mark as identity. The shadow self emerging as persona. ‘I don’t know who this [version of X] is’,” she recounted to her partner regarding the voice and tone of the record as it began to take shape. “The words coming from me felt strange. I wasn’t certain where they originated.” Indeed, ‘Happiness…’ unfolded with more ease than anticipated, stemming from something elusive she has yet to completely comprehend, but for Hughes, it stands as evidence of the universe's rewards. Greatness arising from struggle. Calmness emerging from rage. “Sometimes, you simply serve as a vessel for something flowing through you.” ‘Happiness Is Going to Get You’ is currently available through Allie X / AWAL.