The Various Aspects of Self-Esteem

      "I believe people see me as this positive, confident individual filled with self-esteem. However, it fluctuates—it's on and off, up and down, constantly." A significant moment in the journey towards realizing Self Esteem as a distinct and remarkable entity will occur in April when Taylor unveils her new live show for a four-night performance at London’s Duke of York’s Theatre. Aiming to merge music with the theatrical stage and create her interpretation of David Byrne’s American Utopia, Taylor is understandably excited about having the means to enhance what has become a core aspect of the Self Esteem experience. “By the end of ‘Prioritise Pleasure’, we were still navigating those little, dirty steps onto the stage,” she remembers. “I was headlining Green Man, and it was just the four of us, fumbling on stage. There would be acts before us with full productions, while we were still in our Nasty Gal turtlenecks.”

      Returning to the West End after her transformative experience in Cabaret (“The warm-ups, the way people genuinely cared about my well-being, and the fact that I wasn’t solely responsible for everything…”), the theatre stage now feels like a natural fit for Taylor more than ever. She’s been auditioning for additional acting roles and “would love an Olivia Colman-style career change,” yet the realm of TV and film presents an even tougher challenge against rising and unrealistic expectations.

      “The one thing that saddens me is my desire to pursue more acting, but the parts I tend to get offered are always ‘mate’ or ‘friend’ roles because I’m not seen as attractive enough to be a romantic lead. Every woman you see on screen—even if the story revolves around a woman in a difficult situation—is exceptionally beautiful, and most likely not naturally so. Even the cool ones are getting various enhancements,” she reflects. “I’d love to be a prominent actress, but I doubt that can happen until I’m out of the age range that’s seen as ‘Could I be the attractive young woman?’ No, because I would need a nose job. So, we're back to square one. The casting descriptions I receive label me as rough, and that’s neither fair to me nor to society. That’s part of why we are all struggling; we don’t have a true picture of what the world actually looks like.”

      “I really love that Sabrina Carpenter song [‘Espresso’], but you can sense the industry’s relief, thinking, ‘Oh thank goodness! Thank goodness she’s attractive, blonde, white, petite—and talented! Thank goodness!’” Taylor laments. “You feel like progress is being made, but the industry still demands what it wants.”

      With ‘A Complicated Woman,’ Rebecca Lucy Taylor likely doesn’t align with what the industry desires or even with what many casual viewers might expect. On one hand, she is a 38-year-old pop artist choosing to leverage her major label debut to release an album inspired by A Handmaid’s Tale, with its promotional videos filmed in a local Sheffield venue, and its music rich with frustration, despair, and “provocative, edgy content that’s just a bit too unusual for any man to appreciate.” On the other hand, she’s a publicly recognized figure of 21st Century feminism who openly acknowledges that she is still a significant work in progress, having spent recent years grappling with ongoing anxiety. “People often think I’m this positive, self-assured individual, fully comfortable in my skin. But my feelings fluctuate constantly,” she emphasizes.

      Where ‘Prioritise Pleasure’ felt undeniably groundbreaking just four years ago—sparking discussions about autonomy and expectations and introducing a fresh type of female solo artist who could flourish outside of conventional norms—now those concepts feel almost mainstream. Having demonstrated an alternative route to navigating the industry, this time Self Esteem aims to illustrate a new way to achieve lasting success: one that is intricate and chaotic, empathetic and fierce, silly, sorrowful, and humorous all at once.

      “In a sense, I feel like this album will liberate me to create 20 more,” Taylor expresses. “If I return with a highly focused, mass-market pop record, then I’m trapped. That would mean another decade spent chasing a massive, global Charli XCX-style breakthrough. I hope my music career will be lengthy, but for now, it’s about reflecting on what I’ve been through in the past three years and what sense I can make of that. And that’s the album.”