Mary Eliza’s ‘Spider’ transcends being merely a collection of songs; it is a profound, unfiltered exploration of deep emotions, illness, and self-discovery, intricately linked with the quiet resilience and misunderstood beauty characteristic of the creature for which it is named. The Portland-based singer/songwriter shares candid insights into her debut album—a highly personal endeavor centered on pain and healing, crafted to provoke a visceral reaction from listeners.
Stream: “Dogs” – Mary Eliza
With an eerie, crawling essence, Mary Eliza’s debut album Spider offers more than just music; it represents a heartfelt plunge into emotions, health challenges, and self-exploration. It combines the fervor of indie rock with the warmth of alt-folk, as the singer/songwriter pours her humanity into a powerful record that aches, roars, and demands attention.
Spider – Mary Eliza
Every time I look at you
it’s like we’ve just begun
You’re smiling and you’re whispering
“it’s like we’ve just begun”
Even as the dogs
tear through the trash in the street
It doesn’t have to feel that way
when you’re with me
It doesn’t have to feel that way
when you’re with me
– “Dogs,” Mary Eliza
Released independently on January 17th, Spider introduces Mary Eliza as a strikingly bold and authentically honest singer/songwriter known for her emotional lyrics and passionate sound. This new LP follows her nine-track Moments Not Days EP from 2023 and showcases Eliza collaborating with Preston Cochran (Lucy Dacus, Illuminati Hotties) and Jake Finch (boygenius, Ashe, Suki Waterhouse) at Trace Horse Studios in Nashville.
While Eliza's work can generally be described as intimate reflections of a deeply feeling individual, Spider stands out as her most confessional and confrontational project yet. Influenced by works such as Mali Velasquez’s I’m Green, Big Thief’s Masterpiece, Mitski’s The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We, and Wilco’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, she transforms her personal experiences into an emotionally driven soundtrack of grief and recovery.
“For me, each song on this record captures a feeling,” Eliza explains to Atwood Magazine. “My goal was to embrace these strong emotions and let them resonate through the music. This is a theme that is more ‘felt’ than directly stated, and the creation process felt like a dialogue with my inner self. Making this album was like scratching an itch, a process of healing, and reaching ‘full circle’ moments along the way.”
Dealing with chronic illness since she was four, Eliza’s challenges and the uncertainties surrounding health and life informed many of her songs. After years of confusion, she finally received a complete diagnosis in 2024: a heart disorder known as POTS, a connective tissue disorder termed hEDS, four tick-borne illnesses, Lyme Disease, and a rare blood disorder.
“I believe that my vision for this record was consistent throughout the writing and recording process,” she notes. “However, midway through writing, I began treatment for a chronic illness and was overwhelmed by fatigue. During that time, I toyed with the idea of adopting a more stripped-back living-room sound, reflecting how I was feeling physically; but the pain, grief, and anger I faced drew me back to the desire for the rawness and intensity that eventually shaped the final album.”
I loved you like the moon
Loved you like a bookstore
Loved you like a problem
I can’t see anymore
Loved you like I’m empty
Loved you like a spider
Like a home invasion
I’m down to the wire
Can you breathe my air
Can you clean my lungs?
I can’t go much further
After all I’ve done
After all I’ve done
After all I’ve done
– “Spider,” Mary Eliza
Mary Eliza describes Spider as vulnerable, nostalgic, and full of life. The album’s title reflects her own experiences of often feeling like an outsider.
“Since childhood, I’ve been fascinated by spiders. I find them deeply beautiful and admire their gentle movements. Early on, I sensed that spiders were misunderstood beings, a sentiment that aligns with the experience of those who live with invisible illnesses and disabilities. Do I long for understanding, or am I content expressing myself and embracing misunderstandings? I think it’s both.”
Compared to her previous works, which carried a lighter tone and more acoustic style, Spider melds fragility with ferocity: Powerful tracks like the album’s opener “Dogs,” lead single “Porcelain,” and “Fire” coexist with gentler songs such as “Circles,” “The Fall,” and “Slow Mover,” creating a dynamic listening experience filled with contrast and movement.
However, don’t mistake Eliza’s occasional gentleness for a lack of intensity.
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Mary Eliza’s ‘Spider’ is more than just a song collection; it represents a deep, unrestrained exploration of emotions, illness, and self-discovery, interlaced with the quiet strength and often overlooked beauty of the creature it’s named after. The Portland-based singer/songwriter provides personal reflections on her debut album, which is a profoundly intimate work reflecting pain and recovery, designed to provoke a strong emotional reaction from its audience.