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I recall being around 15 years old and watching Steve-O from Jackass get hit in the face by Mike Tyson. My immediate reaction was, “That was awesome. I wish that were me.” It was a wildly irrational fantasy that somehow made complete sense to me at the time. Nowadays, the closest thing to that thrilling chaos is the sonic impact of Private Function’s fourth album, ¯(ツ)/¯. And it’s fantastic.
The new album from the Australian punk band kicks off with ‘Animal’, a song reminiscent of Pulled Apart By Horses, Wolfmother, and C.O.F.F.I.N fueled by a mix of speed or, as I imagine it, akin to being struck by Tyson himself. After that, it unleashes an unyielding, wild wave of sound: a record that revels in its own primal energy, pulling you into its tumult whether you're prepared or not. Buckle up.
True to Private Function's style, the album cover is as creative as the music: ¯_(ツ)_/¯ showcases the first-ever microscopic album cover made up of 2590 unique record covers designed by Bootleg Comics. Each physical edition comes with a specially designed magnifying glass, allowing fans to explore the artwork, one minuscule cover at a time. Their previous releases have featured vinyls made from their own urine or even baggies embedded in the vinyl pressing.
Musically, ¯_(ツ)_/¯ is explosive, loud, and unrestrained. One of the most ludicrous (and brilliant) moments is ‘4 for 1’—a track consisting of four short songs, each about three seconds long: ‘Art Sucks (But Not As Much As You)’, ‘Bum Cigs, Cum Big’, ‘Sh*t’, and ‘F*ck’. Each bursts to life with a Ramones-style count-in before disappearing into nothingness. Suddenly, they launch into a cover of ABBA’s ‘S.O.S’, complete with chants of “oi oi oi”, arena-worthy guitar solos, and a drumbeat that would likely give ABBA a collective aneurysm (an ABBA-rysm?). The record also incorporates influences from Motörhead and Misfits while maintaining its own unique flair.
With lines like, “Drooling greedy, my holes are needy / I’m a tip-obsessed trap / Dumpster diving / Scrap slut / Rust in my cunt / Cum on your junk,” Private Function makes it abundantly clear: this is not music for the polite or timid. Their sound is filthy, fast, and utterly primal, and leaving one of their shows unscathed feels more like a gamble than a certainty. Take ‘Safety Last’, where they declare: “Don’t wanna wear a helmet / Don’t wanna wear a seatbelt / I wanna drive my car / Real fucking fast / Safety last.” It’s not just a lyric—it encapsulates the entire essence of the record. Listening to Private Function feels like racing without a seatbelt. They want you to feel alive, not safe. They urge you to shout, “Let’s do that again, but faster!”
As the album speeds ahead, it oscillates between ‘80s rock theatrics and jagged hardcore sounds. Tracks like ‘Dumpster Driving’ and ‘Fuck Me Dead’ fit seamlessly on a Spy or Bib record, bursting with frenetic energy and rapid precision. Then, just as swiftly, it reverts to ‘80s glam oddities. No genre is off-limits; Private Function is sampling them all. Most bands adhere to a set of rules while recording, even Australian shapeshifters like King Gizzard categorize their albums by theme or style. Yet ¯_(ツ)_/¯ doesn’t conform to any of that. It seems entirely oblivious to the existence of rules. It’s punk, it’s hardcore, it’s glam, it’s pub rock, it’s charming (even for a moment in ‘Holbrook’)—it’s like Getting punched in the jaw by Mike Tyson! And that nonchalant title? Perhaps it's the perfect name for something so intentionally lacking in identity. Or maybe that shrug symbolizes their reaction to the possibility of receiving a Tyson punch.
But Private Function hasn’t just dismissed the rulebook; they’ve shredded it and used it for their own purposes. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if those soiled pages found their way into the next limited-edition pressing. That would be very much in line with their brand, and I’d be first in line to buy it.
8/10
Words: Jazz Hodge
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I recall being around 15 years old and seeing Steve-O from Jackass get punched in the face by Mike Tyson. My immediate thought was, “Absolutely, that was