To celebrate Pride Month, Atwood Magazine has invited artists to contribute essays that reflect on identity, music, culture, inclusion, and more.
Today, Shamir presents his essay, “‘Neverwannago’ a Day Without Like St. Joan,” which explores a cherished musical and personal friendship as part of Atwood Magazine’s Pride Month series.
Philly-via-Vegas artist Shamir (he/she/they) released his final solo album, ‘Ten,’ on May 19 through Kill Rock Stars, coinciding with the 10th anniversary of his debut, ‘Ratchet.’ After a challenging decade in the music industry, ‘Ten’ serves as a tribute to the friends who have influenced his life, featuring ten songs crafted from unused demos and discarded concepts that have been revitalized. This album reclaims music as a collective form of communication, rather than simply a personal expression. The single “Neverwannago,” penned by Shamir’s close friend, Like St. Joan (Drew Harmon), embodies a nostalgic '90s alt-girl vibe, highlighting their musical and personal bond for Pride Month.
Shamir's journey in music has seen him perform and collaborate with a range of artists, including Le Tigre, Courtney Barnett, Troye Sivan, Rina Sawayama, and Mac DeMarco. His career has consistently evolved, from the playful dancefloor energy of 2015’s ‘Ratchet’ on XL Recordings to the lo-fi emotional release of his self-titled 2020 album. In 2022, he released ‘Heterosexuality,’ a deeply introspective record blending industrial elements with raw vulnerability.
Over the last decade, Shamir has maneuvered through a music industry that has struggled to understand him, facing fluctuating success, industry indifference, and sometimes outright hostility. In contrast, ‘Ten’ is an expression of love. It reclaims music as a collective language rather than a solitary performance. If there's any lingering doubt about whether this marks the end of Shamir's journey as a solo artist, he makes his intentions clear: “I’ve done and said all I wanted to say,” he declares. “I never want to feel like I’m forcing my art.” After a tumultuous ten years, he has chosen to step away, and ‘Ten’ symbolizes not an artist's burnout but rather his liberation.
•• ••
by Shamir
I first met Drew Harmon (aka Like St. Joan) ten years ago when I was 20. Prior to meeting, we had been communicating online for a few months. Drew discovered my music early on and was among the first outside of my home state of Nevada to reach out to me. We connected through our mutual love for music and songwriting.
Drew, a Texan at heart, was born and raised in Texarkana and moved to Austin for college. We finally met in person at SXSW 2015. It wasn’t my first SXSW; in fact, it was my third. However, this was the first time I performed as “Shamir,” the new pop star generating buzz and attention. I felt completely overwhelmed by everything happening in my life at that moment.
I invited Drew to catch up at one of my many showcases that day. Our plan was to spend time together, but my hectic schedule made it difficult to truly connect. I remember feeling embarrassed as I had to shift to my next obligation, forcing him to walk and talk alongside my group of managers. Eventually, it became painfully obvious that I was too distracted. I don't recall how we said goodbye, but I remember feeling awful for not having enough time with the one person I genuinely wanted to see.
The following day, I apologized and tried to make new plans for us to meet away from the chaos. He suggested Torchy’s Tacos outside of downtown. I snuck out without telling my managers, and Drew and I enjoyed each other's company until my managers started calling for me. Conversations with Drew felt like reconnecting with an old friend; I immediately felt a sense of kinship and safety. He was the first person I encountered post-fame who felt like a true connection, rather than someone seeking a piece of my attention.
Fast forward ten years, I now reside in Philadelphia while Drew lives in Portland. I’ve faced mental health challenges, including multiple stays in a psychiatric ward and a bipolar diagnosis. Drew has lost his father and achieved sobriety after struggling with alcohol. Throughout everything, Drew and I maintain nearly daily communication, and he contributed to the first two tracks on my final album, ‘Ten.’
My relationship with Drew embodies the theme of my album. ‘Ten’ is a love letter to my tribe, my chosen family.
Amidst a world filled with loneliness and isolation, I feel incredibly fortunate to have a group of friends who have supported me through my greatest highs and lowest lows, and who are talented enough to create an incredible album for me
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Shamir presents his essay, “‘Neverwannago’ a Day Without Like St. Joan,” which reflects on a cherished musical and personal friendship, as part of Atwood Magazine's Pride Month series!